Ashes to Crowns
From Ashes to Crowns: My Transformative Journey
A decade ago, I embarked on this blogging venture, driven by a desire to share my story, hoping that it might be a source of inspiration for others. Little did I know that as I unfolded the chapters of "my ashes," others would bravely share their own stories of brokenness. In the midst of vulnerability, I discovered that God not only forgives but also heals, transforming our ashes into crowns of beauty, regardless of their perceived dirtiness.
For a quarter of a century, I buried parts of my life, avoiding the pain I didn't want to face. It was as if I, like a child covering my eyes, believed that by not acknowledging it, the pain would vanish. Yet, God stood beside me, arms wide open, waiting for me to uncover my eyes and embrace His love. I've learned that He sees every part of us, even the hidden ones, and His love knows no mistakes.
At the tender age of 7, I encountered a painful experience that left me longing for love and attention. It took me years to acknowledge it as molestation, and I carried the weight of embarrassment, shame, and guilt. I didn't fight for myself then, but as a mom now, I teach my children to protect their sacred parts. My journey continued through school, seeking validation from boys to fill the void. Despite growing up in a Christian home, I sought identity from the world, not from Christ.
Entering college as a Young Life leader, I grappled with the dichotomy of living for God while still yearning for worldly approval. A night of looking for love, led to a traumatic experience, questioning if this date rape was my fault. I had lost my virginity - that I so wanted to hold onto and cherish for my future husband.
The guilt and shame led me to unhealthy relationships. Self hatred, and despair. I felt like trash, but a divine intervention changed the course of my life. I discovered the Holy Spirit, and my head knowledge of God flooded my heart, setting me free from the shackles of self-effort. What was so transforming was the receiving Gods incredible love that took part at the cross and forgiving myself.
Addicted to Jesus, I found my deep hearted desire of ministry to be my true passion. Dating Jesus instead of men became a transformative chapter, and sharing my story took a backseat until 10 years ago when this post was first written.. Facing my past head-on, I realized that God not only forgives but heals, turning our ashes into beauty. The process is ongoing, but I claim God's forgiveness, healing, and love for myself.
We all carry wounds and stories, like seeds landing in the parable of Matthew chapter 13. God brought me through the trenches to lead me back to Him. If my ashes can guide others to Christ, I'm all in. His purposeful embrace of pain ensures our complete healing. His love transcends our actions; it's a choice He makes daily. I share my journey with the hope that it brings change and hope to those feeling broken.
Death brings new life, a truth echoed from seeds sown to Jesus's sacrifice. Confessing my sins daily, I die to my sinful self, allowing for cleansing, renewal, and new life. My healing journey persists, and my faith is unwavering. My identity is in Christ, not in my past. Please share my story with those who may need change and hope.
Thank you, Lord, for your love, sacrifice, healing, and freedom. Whoever reads this, may they know you're real and capable of healing the deepest wounds. Amen.
For original blog post head to www.ashes2crowns.blogspot.com
